challenges

Children Left Behind in China by North Korean Defector Women

“Kang No-eul” is a North Korean defector in Squid Game 3, who escapes to South Korea, only to learn through a broker that the child she was forced to leave behind may still be in China. While Squid Game is a television drama, Kang’s story and the anguish of separation echo a painful reality faced by many North Korean women under our care at Crossing Borders. These mothers, who fled desperate situations in China, often had no choice but to leave their children behind. 

Now safe in South Korea – free from the constant fear of being trafficked, arrested or forcibly repatriated to North Korea, where they would likely face imprisonment, torture or worse – they cling to fleeting connections with their children through video calls and text messages over WeChat, with no realistic hope of reunion. Each time they speak about their children, the sorrow is palpable, often bringing about tears.

THE PLIGHT OF STATELESS CHILDREN

Children of North Korean refugees at a retreat with a counselor from Crossing Borders

While exact figures are difficult to confirm, research suggests there may be up to 30,000 children born to North Korean mothers and Chinese men across China. Many of these children grow up stateless, without a hukou (household registration). Out of fear of exposing their undocumented mothers and risking her repatriation, many parents avoid registering their child. However, without hukou, they effectively have no legal existence – excluded from access to basic services such as education, healthcare and formal employment. 

In a society where access to public services requires ID authentication tied to one’s hukou, including mobile phone registration, e-payments and purchasing train tickets through China’s real-name system, this creates enormous barriers to daily life and increases the risk of long-term poverty and exploitation. This statelessness is thus more than a bureaucratic oversight, but a life sentence of exclusion. Human Rights Watch documents how families are forced to bribe officials, falsify paperwork or register children under another person’s hukou, as these half-North Korean, half-Chinese children live under constant threat of exposure in China. 

COMPETITION AND EXCLUSION IN SCHOOLS

China’s education system is notoriously competitive, and access is strictly regulated through hukou. Even Chinese children with rural or out-of-district hukou face pressure to secure places in top schools, often requiring local residential status. For stateless children of North Korean descent, the barriers are nearly impossible to overcome. Without the means to escape that status, they are excluded from schooling altogether. 

Even for those few who manage to leave for South Korea and reunite with their mothers, the challenges do not end. They face significant language and cultural barriers. Having grown up in China, many struggle with Korean fluency and adapting to South Korean society. They may fall behind academically due to gaps in schooling, face bullying or isolation due to their ethnic background and encounter mental health challenges tied to trauma, identity and belonging. Discrimination against North Korean defectors remains a persistent issue, and integration can be especially difficult for adolescents who have already endured years of instability.

ALTERNATIVE SCHOOLS IN SOUTH KOREA

Despite the many hardships, there are small but meaningful efforts providing hope and support for these children. In South Korea, a number of alternative schools have been established specifically to meet the needs of North Korean defector youth, including those who grew up stateless or separated from their families in China.

Yeomyung School, founded in 2004 in Seoul, is one such example. It serves middle and high school-aged students who have defected from North Korea or were born to defectors. The school provides a trauma-informed education that includes academic instruction, emotional support and life skills training. Many students describe it as the first place where they have felt safe and seen. Another example is Heavenly Dream School, founded in 2003 in Seongnam, which offers a holistic, Christian-based education focused on leadership development and personal growth. Built into a megachurch, the school emphasizes community living, with teachers residing alongside students in dormitories to create a stable, family-like environment. Over 90 percent of its graduates go on to higher education – a remarkable achievement given the challenges they have faced.

A visit to Yeomyung School where Dan was able to reconnect with a refugee

We’ve had a chance to visit both of these schools (see the amazing reunification Dan had with a refugee at Yeomyung School) and we were so impressed by the abundant love and care they poured out towards children who otherwise would also feel a similar statelessness even after arriving in South Korea. 

The plight of stateless children left behind in China by North Korean defector women is one of the most heartbreaking consequences of forced migration and political oppression. These children are caught between borders, systems and national policies that deny them identity, protection and opportunity. Yet even in this bleak landscape, hope persists. With continued advocacy, support and compassion, more of these children can find a way out of the shadows and into a future defined not by abandonment, but by opportunity and care.

North Korean Refugees: Ok-seo’s Struggle for Peace and Heat

Crossing Borders has two organizational functions: first, to raise funds and second, to use these funds wisely to help North Korean refugees in China. But sometimes it is easy for us to think that the funds that we raise can solve every problem. As you pray with us this year, please pray for that we would rely on God for everything. The ongoing life of "Ok-seo", a North Korean refugee in our care who we have shared about before through our blog, continues to remind us that the most important thing for us to do is to ask God to take control in the life of our refugees.

Ok-seo has trouble picking up her husband’s native tongue: Mandarin. This causes a lot of trouble in her household. She gets into fights with her husband and is often physically abused by him. But she cannot leave her family because they have a son and it would be difficult for her to run away with her young child.

Ok-seo’s family went without heat this past winter. We have been helping her with a small, monthly stipend for the past couple years to cover living expenses. Ok-seo's husband, however, decided late last year to stop working for reasons unclear to Ok-seo and our workers on the ground.

Her husband is described as extremely lazy by Ok-seo and our missionaries. He was coddled as a child and is unable to handle adversity, according to our sources familiar with the couple.

China’s northernmost recesses are extremely cold in the winter. Ok-seo lives near the border of Siberia, where it can reach 30 to 40 degrees below zero Fahrenheit without the wind chill. It’s hard for us to imagine how hard it is for the family to stay warm without heat.

It would be easy for us to raise funds to give the couple extra funds to heat their home but we fear this will give Ok-seo's husband even less incentive to work. We could also cut our support to them all together to encourage her husband to work but this would leave the family without enough food.

Last year we posted a video of Ok-seo singing a song she wrote about God’s grace in her life. This song is based on a traditional North Korean tune used to praise Kim Il Sung.

North Korean Refugee Sings a Song She Wrote from Crossing Borders on Vimeo.

Her song is an example of how Ok-seo, like many North Korean refugees in our care, has replaced a man-made idol for the true and living God. Through her struggles she continues to lean on God to carry her through.

As she was explaining her situation to our staff member, Ok-seo expressed her thankfulness at how God had changed her heart. Her circumstances might not have improved but she has something that she never had before.

“Before I had no hope,” she said in a recent interview. “Now I have hope.”

Though Ok-seo’s circumstances are dire, her soul continues to soar with supernatural strength and courage.

As we continue to pray for Ok-seo and North Korean refugees like her, we pray not for more money but that God would get involved in her marriage and that in Christ her husband might change. Please pray with us as we continue to seek wisdom in helping Ok-seo.