Esther - To A Hungry Soul Every Bitter Thing Is Sweet

A woman we call “Esther” arrived at Elim House just a few weeks ago. Esther is 59 years old. She defected from North Korea 20 years ago, spent about 15 days in China, and then, with the help of a Christian organization, arrived in South Korea in 2004.

After coming to South Korea, she earned a license to be a skin care instructor and worked as a lecturer at an academy. She attended university in North Korea and has never been married. She said that her studies in traditional Korean medicine in North Korea helped her excel at her skin care job, which earned her a lot of money.

Just as she was earning good money and planning to travel and enjoy life, she was in a serious car accident. She was in a coma for six months. While in the hospital, she had a dream where she saw her deceased family members from North Korea peacefully tending to flowers. They called out to her to join them, but someone grabbed her foot, preventing her from going. Esther believes she was saved because it was not her time to die.

loneliness in south korea

Recently, during their time of morning devotions, the women at Elim House read through Proverbs 27 and Esther shared how Proverbs 27:7 spoke to her as she let us into a part of her past.

“A satisfied soul loathes the honeycomb, but to a hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet.”

— Proverbs 27:7 (ESV)

“After leaving Hanawon, I received housing in Seoul but went three days without eating. I didn't know how to cook rice in a rice cooker, so I looked for a fireplace and a place to make a fire but couldn't find one, so I couldn't cook rice. For three days, I only drank tap water. On the first day, the tap water smelled of disinfectant, but as I continued to starve, by the third day, I didn't even notice the disinfectant smell and just drank the water.

I also received a cell phone but didn't know anyone, so I found the number of the personal protection (police) officer assigned to me and asked for help. The personal protection officer was surprised to hear about my situation, bought various side dishes from the market, prepared them, and even brought extra packages of rice cakes to distribute to my neighbors.

Even though I knocked on neighbors' doors to say hello and share rice cake with them, I was surprised by their cold and unwelcoming responses. In North Korea, when someone moves into a new home, people come first to share things, ask where they are from, and warmly welcome them, but in my experience, South Koreans were the opposite, and keep to themselves.”

Mental Health Care

Shortly after arriving at Elim House, Esther was seen by a psychiatrist who concluded that she has post-traumatic stress, obsessive-compulsive tendencies, and paranoid delusions, leading to high stress levels and emotional instability. Shortly after she arrived in Elim House, she shared with our social worker Cindy some of her delusions. Cindy then began to encourage her to take her medications.

Esther, who had seen a psychiatrist but never took the medication she was prescribed, agreed to take the prescription this time after acknowledging her current condition.

We are thankful to have Esther join us for however long the Lord would have her stay. It is encouraging to see God working to heal and soften her heart. During Sunday service at Elim House, through tears, she confessed that she cannot live without God and expressed her realization of having lived apart from God for so long.

The Sufficiency of Grace for North Koreans

North Korean refugees in an Elim Community Pilates class.

Since 2022 Elim Community has served North Korean refugees in South Korea with free classes. Through this program, Crossing Borders has been able to form relationships with many North Koreans. Unlike Elim House, our safehouse for North Korean women in need, Elim Community participants are usually independent and not in urgent need of help. Because of their relative stability, it presents a different challenge in ministering to their hearts and showing them a need for a savior. 

Tea time

After most Elim Community classes, we host a “tea time,” which is a time for North Koreans to engage in community with one another at a nearby coffee shop. The many hours spent with refugees have revealed the unique challenges in sharing the gospel with North Koreans. Many are consumed with guilt as they forge new lives in South Korea. And it has reminded us that we must always be mindful of North Korean culture, as we present Jesus to them. 

In a recent tea time, a North Korean woman said that she has a hard time believing in Jesus and that he is like a Genie in a bottle to her. She wants to go to church but she feels that it is hypocritical for her to go because of her sinful behavior during the other six days of the week. Our staff enthusiastically shared with her that awareness of one’s own sin is the first step in understanding our need for a savior.

lack of community

A 2023 study by the Korean Hana Foundation showed that only 19.2 percent of North Koreans participated in social activities on weekends, which included religious activities. Pastors and Christian workers in South Korea have told us that, though some North Koreans are interested in church, many find it hard to connect to South Koreans at church, which has become a deterrent for regular attendance. 

a culture of shame

Furthermore, North Koreans have shared with us that they are wracked with the guilt of the things they did in North Korea to survive during the famine, which lasted between 1995 and 1998. It was a time marked by utter desperation. In her book, “Nothing to Envy: Ordinary Lives in North Korea,” Barbara Demick describes the famine as a “killer.” 

“Yet another gratuitous cruelty; the killer targets the most innocent, the people who would never steal food, lie, cheat, break the law, or betray a friend.”

It is said that the good people died first during the famine. We try to counsel North Koreans who feel this guilt by sharing with them that only Jesus can help them escape the shame of sin. They are truly a people who need to hear about the forbearance of our loving father in Romans 2:4, that God's kindness is meant to lead [them] to repentance. This is a hard pill to swallow for many, but to some, it is like water in a drought. 

North Korea has a hyper-guilt-driven culture in which citizens must attend weekly self criticism sessions where they must confess errant thoughts against the regime. They are harshly punished for any breach against their government and their social status is permanently affected by their behavior. North Koreans come from a culture of self loathing. Considering this cultural backdrop, it makes sense that the woman from Elim Community said that she didn’t want to go to church because of her sins. 

The Gospel is Enough

This strikes at the core of the gospel and Jesus’ mission on earth. To have our transgressions wiped away, we must have someone powerful enough to forgive them. 1 John 1:9 (ESV) says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Sin causes people to feel a sense of guilt and shame. Those who have been confronted by the mercy and grace of our lord are able to “live as a people who are free” 1 Peter 2:16 (ESV). Our challenge is to present this truth in a way that North Koreans in their culture can understand and receive it. 

We are thankful that the gospel is enough. Please continue to pray for us as we share the good news of the gospel with our North Korean refugees.

Rest for Your Souls

Praying for Nancy at Elim House.

Nancy was referred to Elim House by a local Hana Center as she needed to remove herself from a toxic situation with a former boyfriend. He was convinced that she was cheating on him and to prove him wrong, she attempted to end her life by swallowing an excessive amount of sleeping pills in front of him. According to Nancy, he had also tracked her whereabouts by installing a secret app on her phone.

A pastor from her church told us that before Nancy met this man, she was active in the church and did not show signs of exhaustion. She came to us completely drained of energy and spirit. Upon arrival, Kelly and Michelle, the other two residents currently at Elim House, welcomed Nancy in and prepared dinner for her with dumplings, potatoes and vegetables.

Within a week of her stay, Nancy sought out a psych evaluation at the hospital and asked to be admitted if possible due to potential mental issues. Our social workers grew increasingly aware that Nancy’s mental issues seemed to be more severe than they initially thought as she settled in at Elim House. The doctor who evaluated Nancy gave her the option to be admitted and also prescribed her medication. Nancy chose to start taking her medication and to return to Elim House. For her own safety and the safety of others at Elim House, our team kept close watch over her.

Last Sunday, Nancy voluntarily asked to be discharged from Elim House as she plans to be admitted to the hospital in about a month. Her stay was just a few short weeks but she had developed a good relationship with other residents and staff in that time. Nancy’s time with us came to a close at our weekly Sunday worship as the other residents and our team lovingly covered her in prayer and blessings. While we desire to have gone deeper with Nancy, given the mental issues she struggled with, we know she needs to be under the care of trained professionals who can properly treat her.

Many residents, like Nancy, only stay for a few weeks. We don’t know if they’ll come back or if our paths will ever cross again. But we hope the time that they spend at Elim House leaves an indelible impression of God’s sabbath, his holy rest. Our prayer is for Nancy to receive the ongoing treatment she needs to get better physically, emotionally and spiritually.

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. - Psalm 46:1